Jonathan Arnold – age 27
* Blushing was depriving me of a social life. I’ve always had a good job and good friends, but often felt anxious in social situations. The mere thought of socializing would make me nervous and I would always make excuses – avoiding parties or drinks after work with my colleagues. The thing I was most nervous about was being the centre of attention – if someone, for example, commented on my tie I would automatically feel embarrassed and blush. If someone then commented on my blushing, I felt I could die from embarrassment! It was even worse when I was talking to women I was interested in. I would become tongue-tied and often go red and make an excuse to end the conversation.
I really did not know where to turn but knew that I needed to learn to control my blushing so I looked on the internet and found Alix Needham. Alix helped my to understand what my blushing and anxiety was all about.
As a child my parents divorced when I was 10 and there were a lot of arguments about whom I should live with. I felt divided loyalty towards both of my parents and at some level blamed myself for their problems and felt a failure because I couldn’t keep them together. Alix helped me to accept that my parents break up was not my fault. She helped me to focus on my positive attributes, to value myself and not feel embarrassed about who I was. Gradually I began to relax and take the pressure off myself. As my confidence has grown my fears of blushing have disappeared and today, even if I am with a woman I really fancy, I can hold my own without going red. What a relief!
Alix’s comments on controlling facial blushing.
Blushing is often caused by emotional stress, fear and embarrassment. For some people the fear of blushing can get to a state where they try to avoid all social situations. In the case of Jonathan, he felt confident with people he knew well. However, when faced with meeting new people, women or authority figures, he felt pertrified. He was sure that he would go red and the other person would notice his blushing and judge him. The more he thought this way the more tense and agitated he became. He was caught up in a vicious circle of anxiety that was spoiling his life.
Using hypnotherapy, I was able to help Jonathan to understand the root cause of his blushing problem. Deep down he felt ashamed that his parents had divorced and was taking responsibility for the breakdown on himself. At some level he felt deeply flawed and felt that new people could see through him as someone not good enough. During the sessions of hypnotherapy we were able to reprogramme Jonathan’s mind so as not to react to the trigger situations by blushing. Emotional freedom technique helped to reduce his stress and anxiety and to boost his self-confidence. He became able to acknowledge the many good points about himself and stopped avoiding social situations. After three sessions his blushing had disappeared.