Aaron – age 34
Like most couples we had our ups and downs during our time together. After nearly ten years, I thought everything was fine, unfortunately Jennie, my wife didn’t. She had become disillusioned with our life together and no matter what I said it made no difference. We talked and talked until we both got fed up with discussing our marital problems.
For me, the kids were the important factor in all of this, but in the end it was obvious that nothing I could do or say would make a difference. We decided to separate for a period of time, and I genuinely thought we would get back together, but after nearly a year, Jennie seemed to feel that life was better without me in the picture. Telling the kids was the most difficult aspect for me and I’m not ashamed to say I cried a lot during those dark times.
I felt I was shell shocked and in limbo and after a while several friends suggested that perhaps it would be a good idea to get some help. That’s when I contacted Alix. She has been brilliant in helping me get back on my feet, helping me to see things differently and to realize that as sad as the breakup might be, there are times when thing simply don’t work out as you expect. After only a couple of sessions I felt much better in myself and ready to face the world again.
It is a sad fact that sometimes life just doesn’t work out the way that you want it to. Marriage is a partnership whereby both parties need to gain something from and also be willing to comprise, to ensure longevity. Unfortunately for whatever reasons, and there usually many, some couples seem to not be able to continue.
As Aaron indicated the children are often the key element, and although it may seem like a good idea to stay in a loveless marriage for the sake of the children, the reality is that often this can be more harmful to their upbringing, as the constant bickering and bad feeling pervades family life.
Aaron came to see me when he had already realized this was the case and needed reassurance that he and Jennie had made the right decision. The finality of divorce can leave you empty and bereft of emotion, however over time and with help and guidance, you can return to a lifestyle that is enriched and joyful, just as Aaron found out after our sessions.