A fear of commitment can cause great upset, anxiety and destruction in relationships. It might be that you’re reluctant to take that next step with a long term partner or perhaps you‘re struggling to begin a relationship and instead find solace in destructive, repetitive behaviours.
It might be that you have a little uncertainty about your relationship or perhaps you experience absolute terror at the idea of committing to a partner. There can be a lot of stigma attached to the fear of commitment but it’s an unpleasant and debilitating situation for those struggling.
There are a few common reasons why you might avoid commitment.
Why do you Fear Commitment?
You feel vulnerable – many people are so afraid of being in a position of vulnerability they build barriers around themselves. It’s important to understand where this fear comes from and how you could enter into a relationship without experiencing this negativity.
You fear change – sometimes the fear of having to change or give up certain aspects of your life might prevent you taking the next steps in a relationship. It’s helpful to understand what is truly important to you, what aspects are integral to your life and which are just excuses.
You have unrealistic expectations – do you crave what you can’t have or create an impossible checklist for perfection that no one can ever live up to? Where do these criteria come from? Could they be a sign of other issues or insecurities?
You don’t feel ready – many people put off commitment because they think they are too young, but some do this repeatedly until they realise they regret it.
You feel trapped – feelings of being ‘stuck’ or of ‘suffocation’ are common with sufferers of commitment phobia but, instead of addressing this, people often end relationships in order to relieve the symptoms. It’s important to remember that your partner is almost never the cause of these feelings, it’s something inside you that leads to these feelings and it can be relieved.
You replay the past – a destructive behaviour cycle can replay itself over and over again. If you have anxiety about commitment you might behave in a way that pushes people away or sabotages relationships. We may tell ourselves it wasn’t our fault, but if you took another look would this really be the case?
How to Overcome your Fear of Commitment
These signs of commitment phobia are usually indications of something deeper. What is it that really triggers these thoughts and behaviours within you? What is causing these feelings of panic, fear or vulnerability?
If you find it difficult to form relationships or become anxious, withdrawn or destructive as relationships progress you will benefit from relationship coaching or hypnotherapy.
Relationship coaching will help you to work through your issues and make sense of any unwanted feelings and behaviour so you can enjoy healthier relationships. Sometimes issues are complex, perhaps relating to memories, past events, emotions and unconscious motivations. This is where my methods of advanced hypnotherapy can help you understand and uncover hidden triggers that may be affecting you. We’ll work together to create a plan that can yield fast results.