The longest relationship you will ever have is with yourself. Being a good friend to yourself can be a huge source of comfort, reliable judgement and help to work through feelings of loneliness and instability. When we cultivate a productive, consistent and positive self that we can trust, it will always be with us.
Here’s a few steps you can take to become your own best friend.
- Get to know yourself
Just the same as you would with another person, you need to spend some time laying the ground-work for this relationship. It may sound strange, but many of us don’t understand ourselves as much as we think we do. What are your values? What makes you tick? What drives you? What are your weaknesses?
Take some time asking yourself some of these questions and give yourself honest answers. When you know and accept yourself, you become a better friend and advisor. If you find it difficult to answer some of these questions a Life Coaching session might help.
- Enjoy your own company
Do you only ever spend time alone when you’re forced or do you actively choose your own company? Solitary hobbies such as painting, reading, yoga, knitting, meditation and fishing are all great things to do alone. Being happy in our own company is healthy and if we’re not happy alone it’s often because of low self-esteem, or other issues we are trying to avoid.
- Challenge yourself
A good friend will open up new doors and opportunities to us, perhaps suggesting a new travel location or activity for us to try. To be your own best friend you need to challenge yourself to try new things and step out of your comfort zone. Then you need to reassure and support yourself to achieve these goals.
- Be kind to yourself
A good friend accepts you for who you are and is kind and supportive. It’s not uncommon for our own self-image or internal talk to be quite negative and for us to rely on our friends to provide positive feedback. Make a conscious effort to monitor your own self talk and treat yourself as kindly as you’d treat someone else. Compliment yourself regularly and treat yourself with a small reward each day.
- Be honest
Sometimes friends have to be cruel to be kind. They are the first to tell you when you’re out of line or when your view on things is skewed. To do this for yourself you need to take a bit of a step back and cultivate good self-awareness to view things from a neutral perspective. Mindfulness training can help with this as well as learning to recognise how your own perceptions or judgements might skew your perspective on things. Accept your faults and work on them. Laugh at yourself when things get tough and try to be your own source of light hearted relief.
If you’d like to learn more about any of the things mentioned above, my life coaching and hypnotherapy sessions can help you become a better friend to yourself. Please do contact me for a free consultation.