So many clients come to me for help with fear, motivation or confidence. These are often all linked by an overwhelming fear of failure which holds people back from achieving their full potential in life.
Some fear is natural and serves an important purpose, like stopping us jumping off a cliff or stepping out into the middle of a road. In today’s complex society there are many things we’ve become afraid of that pose no substantial threat. Fear of judgment, embarrassment or social rejection are not always helpful.
Here’s some tips which may help you start overcoming your fear of failure:
The whole concept of ‘failure’ needs to be looked at in our modern society. Mastering a skill or completing a project takes time and effort and we usually have to go through ups and downs before completion. These ‘failures’ can be seen as learning experiences which help us on our way.
Even if we have to rethink the entire idea, we’ll learn something about ourselves and the situation. Most successful people have had more than their fair share of failures along the way.
Avoid all-or-nothing thinking
It’s often our unrealistic expectations that mark progress as failure. Don’t expect too much from yourself or others. Instead, see each stage as an evolving process.
Distorted thinking can encourage us to view things in absolute terms – success or failure – rather than in a more nuanced way – experiences and learning.
Be kind to yourself
Fear is usually there for a reason and should be dealt with rather than ignored. Don’t mock yourself or your fear. Ask yourself why it is really there and what it is telling you. Are you ill-prepared for this next venture? Are the risks too high? Is a past experience clouding your judgement?
Sometimes we can take practical actions to lessen our fears such as further preparation or risk reduction. Other times our fear of failure is unrealistic or skewed and is holding us back from possible success. A hypnotherapy session can help you take a look at your own fears and discover more about them and yourself.
When we experience failure it’s easy for us to personalise the setback as a reflection on our character. If we experience failure that doesn’t mean we ARE a failure.
Examine the circumstances as if they were another person’s as this often encourages a more measured view. Learn from the facts but don’t invent fiction. Try to control the emotions linked to the events. A coaching session could help you deal with the situation and generate a new approach.
The only real failure is when we let our fears stop us from trying, or give up after a setback. It’s healthy to deal with our fears and emotions, to question why we’re so afraid and how we might be able to change our thought patterns to be more positive, confident and daring in pursuit of our success. I have helped many clients achieve this and I could help you.
If you’d like to learn more about how to overcome your fear of failure please do get in touch.