What is Stoptober? Stoptober takes place during the month of October and is a nationwide…
Are you wondering what’s the impact of being an adult child of an alcoholic? To find answers read on…
Some of the most common traits of adult children of alcoholics include:
Alcoholics are often angry, aggressive and irrational. So, as a result, adult children of alcoholics tend to avoid conflict. This leads to ‘people pleasing’ behaviour and a tendency to not ‘rock the boat’ as a safety mechanism.
Fearing Losing Control
Did you grow up in an unpredictable environment? If so, feeling the need to maintain control for two reasons is common. Firstly, for fear of provoking anger. And, secondly, to avoid feelings of upset and anger. This experience results in a strong desire to control your own behaviour. As well as people and situations that cause anxiety when this isn’t possible.
Many adult children of alcoholics develop unhealthy relationships in later life. Moreover, finding themselves attracted to emotionally unavailable people or those with compulsive issues. Sometimes needing to rescue other people which can lead to co-dependent relationships and neglecting their own needs. In addition, their self-esteem depends solely on the approval of their partner.
Fear of Authority
A parent figure is usually an example figure of authority. However, when their behaviour is unpredictable or threatening this leading to the child developing a fear of authority later in life. Furthermore, causing issues at work or other social situations.
Low Self Esteem
If you’ve been subjected to degrading behaviour this can produce low self-esteem in adult life. If you haven’t received praise or support as a child, it’s often hard giving or accepting praise in an adult relationship.
Further Help for ACOAs
In conclusion, if you’re an adult child of an alcoholic and identify with some of the issues mentioned above I’m more than happy to help you. I’ve helped many clients whose childhoods are impacting on the way they feel today.
If you’d like to talk about any of the issues raised here please do get in touch.
Further Reading on Issues of Adult Children of Alcoholics