Internal Vs External Anger - How to Manage Both Effectively When you think of anger…
How to Become Master of Your Emotions ? This is a question I’m frequently asked. Our emotions serving an important purpose. Moreover fear alerting us to danger. Guilt letting us know we might have behaved badly. And anger protecting us against mistreatment. However, sometimes our emotions take over.As a result ruling our minds and governing our behaviour.
It doesn’t have to be this way. Emotional intelligence helps in mastering your own emotions. As well as understanding and expressing emotions more clearly. The benefits including less stress and anxiety. Moreover improving relationships and success at work
Tips for Mastering Your Emotions
- Slowing Down
Firstly in order to identify and process our emotions we need to slow down. If you’re becoming overwhelmed by your emotions, the temptation is to speed up. But this extra activity doesn’t always help. Slow down, calm yourself and focus.
- Listening to Your Body
Are the physical effects of emotions making you feel out of control? Causing sweating, nausea, overheating, muscle tension and headaches.It’s important to recognise these physical symptoms and react accordingly. Waiting for them to subside before making any decisions with a clear head.
- Acting Consciously
Often strong emotions causing us to give in to automatic reactions. Start making an effort to react consciously. Thus avoiding in heat-of-the-moment weakness. You can’t always control your emotions. But you can control how you ‘re reacting to them.
- Recognising Conditioning
Do you tend to deal with certain emotions in the same way? Perhaps you eat when you’re sad ? Or lash out when you’re angry. Early experiences condition us to deal with emotions in specific ways. Especially if you have experienced a difficult childhood.
- Challenging Negativity
Your thoughts giving your negative emotions strength. Or bringing them under control. A small niggle becoming overwhelming when left unchecked. For example, after a small set back feeling sad, angry and disappointed. These emotions give rise to negative self-talk – “I’ll never make it”, “I’m so useless”.
These are examples of all-or-nothing thinking, mind reading and extreme negativity. Operating in this way strengthening negative emotions.
- Responding Positively
What’s the best way of responding to a setback? Start by focusing on what you’re feeling and why. Are you disappointed because you didn’t get a job. Or angry that you missed an opportunity. A better way is making sure you separate feelings from facts. As well as focusing on the positive. As well as learning from your experiences.
7. Asking yourself
Ask yourself why are you so upset? Is it because you’ve wasted effort? What can get you back on track? Life coaching is very effective at helping people work through emotions . As well as planning for the future. In addition focusing on dealing with negative emotions healthily as they arise.
8. Handling Complex Emotions
Complex emotions can be confusing. As a result avoiding dealing with them. Try taking a step back and unpicking everything you’re feeling. It may help to talk to someone about what you’re feeling. Avoiding magnifying or minimising things. Learn to recognise that what you’re feeling, doesn’t always represent reality. Emotions are complex and unpredictable. There is no ‘right’ way of feeling.
- Learning to Express Your Emotions
Talking about feelings is a healthy way to process your emotions. There are many ways of expressing your feelings clearly whilst avoiding making judgement on others. Use “I” statements. Inviting others to share their feelings when appropriate. And avoiding any ‘should’ and ‘ought’ statements.
Seeking Professional Help
Sometimes. even after trying your best to control your emotions, you’re still feeling overwhelmed. I use hypnotherapy and life coaching to help build confidence and master their own emotions. If you would like to benefit from this too, please do get in touch.