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No matter how successful a person is, we all have to deal with some kind of rejection in our lives. In fact, it’s often the most successful among us that have dealt with the most rejection. If you take risks in life you’re bound to encounter rejection, but you’ll thrive if you can learn from it and pick yourself up quickly. Moving past rejection is key to maintaining your own happiness.
Rejection comes in many forms and is present in many areas of our lives. Whether in love, career or friendships, all rejection is painful. The aim is to move on quickly, maintain our sense of wellbeing and self-esteem and not be afraid to try again.
Here’s some healthy steps to take when dealing with any kind of rejection.
Step 1 – Grieve Briefly
An appropriate grieving period is necessary – it’s not healthy to deny yourself the chance to feel disappointed. So, take the rest of the day or the weekend to feel a little sorry for yourself, treat yourself to something nice and look after yourself. Don’t spend too long on this stage though, the sooner you can move on, the better it’ll be.
Step 2 – Talk it Through
Think about what happened and talk it through for yourself. Seek out a close friend if you want to discuss it further. Be careful though – don’t let resentment take hold. Express your feelings of disappointment but don’t complain too much or develop a victim mentality.
Stay away from social media until you’re calmer, you don’t want to post something you’ll later regret. Family, trusted friends or a therapist are usually the best people to talk to.
Step 3 – Accept the Reality
This can often be the hardest stage of the process. You need to separate your personal hurt from the reality of the situation. If you didn’t get the job you’d hoped for, it doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough to ever get a new job. This time there was just someone else who was a better fit for the position. If your date request was turned down it doesn’t mean you’ll never find love. This time, for whatever reason, they just don’t feel the same or they aren’t looking for romance.
Always remember, it’s not personal. They’ve rejected the request, not you as a person, and they have a right to make that choice. Everyone is different.
Step 4 – Reframe & Evaluate
Evaluate the situation and decide what went wrong. Can you make changes to increase your chances next time? Should you have another go or move on and try something different? It can help to get a neutral perspective at this stage or enter into a coaching relationship to help you understand what happened, what you want and develop a plan of action.
Reframe the situation in your mind to remove all blame from both parties. This is necessary to truly move on and accept what happened as a natural part of life. Empathise with your rejecter and see things from their point of view.
Step 5 – Move On
It’s important to let go of any negative feelings caused by rejection. Take what you can from it, then move on. If you’re struggling, take a little time with friends and family, immerse yourself in fun activities, look outside yourself and focus on your strengths.
Don’t forget rejection is a sign that you’re experiencing life to the fullest. It’s how we learn and grow. If we deal with it in a healthy and effective way we remove its power over us. Leave it in the past and it won’t control your future.
If You Still Can’t Move On
If you’re still struggling to let go of rejection it may be time to seek professional help. Sometimes negative thought patterns become so entrenched in your psyche, each rejection only serves to make them worse. You need a fresh slate to work from and hypnotherapy can achieve this.
I will help you build your self-esteem and reduce your emotional dependency on other people and outside situations. You’ll build emotional resilience to deal with setbacks in future and remove rejection’s power to derail your happiness.
Please contact me if you’d like to learn more about how hypnotherapy can help you deal with rejection.