Whether you’ve just moved to the capital or you’re a long time Londoner you’ll know that in London’s busy and competitive streets sometimes people can get left behind. In a cutting edge and thriving city such as London, one thing is key to success – confidence. Whether its promotion at work, making friends, looking for romance or even developing a career on the stage, confidence is king.
Confident people in London are much more visible. They thrive in a busy world and know how to get what they want. Confidence helps you seek new opportunities, talk to new people and attract the right kind of attention. It gives you an aura of charisma, success and power that draws other people in.
Even if you’re a naturally shy person, you can begin to build your own confidence with a few simple steps.
Switch it up – turn negative thoughts into positive.
“They won’t want to talk to me. I best not bother them” becomes “They will be pleased to hear what I have to say and interested in making a new friend”
“I can’t do this presentation, I’ll only mess it up” becomes “I can do this. The presentation will go well and people will enjoy it”
Even if you find it hard at first, these thoughts become self-fulfilling. No matter how unsure you feel, make a proper effort to turn negative thoughts into positive affirmations. In any busy or competitive world, it’s the people who think like this that do well and that other people enjoy being around. Positivity is a very attractive quality.
Play to your strengths – sometimes we feel unsure because we’re outside of our comfort zone. Try and identify your skills and talents and focus on how you can use these to your success. The British often feel it’s polite to be humble and self-deprecating but it’s important that you recognise and acknowledge your own strengths – if you don’t no one else will!
“I would be great at this job. I have always been good with people”
“I know I care for animals well and know how to handle them”
When we talk or think about things that make us feel strong, passionate or able, this comes across in our body language and speech.
Take pride – It’s amazing how much your confidence depends on how you feel. Take a moment in the morning to make sure you look and feel your best. Wear something you feel good and comfortable in.
Treat yourself to something special. It’s amazing how much difference small things can make. If you’re shifting uncomfortably in ill-fitting clothes or shoes, it’s hard to appear confident and in control.
Develop self-awareness – it’s so easy to see ourselves from a skewed perspective but we should try and take a step back and view ourselves as others might. Imagine you’re looking at yourself through someone else’s eyes. This person is filled with positivity and kindness. Now make a list of everything that might say about you.
“I am a really good friend”
“I’m kind to animals”
“I have nice hair”
However silly it seems, opening ourselves up to these positive thoughts helps us accept and expect them from others and develop these beliefs ourselves.
Look outward – be aware of other people and how they might feel. One thing about people who lack confidence is they might be too shy to chat to people or compliment them, even when they really want to. Focusing on others makes you less worried about your own flaws and helps other people warm to you. You have nothing to lose by telling a stranger you love their shoes or asking them how their day is going.
Step outside – Try to venture out of your comfort zone. Get yourself out into the world and experience it. London is a huge city and, whilst that can be daunting, it also has huge rewards. Get involved with your local community and explore everything that the city has to offer.
If you feel like you’re still struggling with confidence it might be time to seek further help. Sometimes our thought patterns are so deeply ingrained they are hard to change on our own. Or there could be some deeper cause of our lack of confidence.
I have helped many people build confidence at my central London office. Contact me to discover how I could help you.