Abandonment issues is a term used to describe a fear or anxiety surrounding rejection or…
“John was a forty year old man, married for over 20 years with two children. He was in a stable but uninspiring job, in telecommunications. He started having an affair with a work colleague after an encounter during the Christmas party. The woman involved was ten years younger than John and the affair has been going on for two years when John came to see me with feelings of guilt and confusion about whether to stay or leave his wife.”
The Impact of Affairs
The impact of an affair can be overwhelming on every level. The range of emotions that present themselves when someone becomes involved with another person whilst still in a relationship can cause significant upset and distress, for all involved.
Yet statistics show that more than 70% of people have had affairs.
But Why Do Married People Have Affairs?
There are a variety of reasons including being dissatisfied with a current relationship, low self esteem, work stress, regret at missing out, sexual dissatisfaction, as well as many more potential reasons why people cheat on their partners and embark on an affair.
So How Can You Deal With It?
There are a number of complex reasons why so many people fail to deal with their own inner conflicts and seek solace in a relationship with someone new who seems to understand and appreciate them more than their current partner.
It is common for people to experience emotional crisis at some point in their lives and counselling provides a safe space to talk with a professional who is non judgemental and skilled in dealing with emotional problems and offering support in resolving internal conflicts.
Treat the Cause of the Behaviour
In the example case study, John found out that the reason he embarked on the affair was due to his own low self-esteem, compounded by a desire for excitement. But instead of discussing his feelings with his wife, he chose a different path that involved a work colleague who had made him feel special.
Whether the outcome of counselling is to continue and try to mend the relationship or an amicable break up, seeking support from a counsellor helps the individual establish greater self -understanding and a clearer way forward.
If you’d like to discuss these issues further or book a no-obligation free consultation, please do get in touch. I can offer in-person or online therapy sessions.