Many of us our familiar with the term ‘introvert’ and some of the associated characteristics.…
Many people are looking for ways of developing confident communication. Whether it’s because of nerves, insecurity or other strong emotions, communication can often be strained. We are desperate to communicate our point of view, but the emotions run over and we find ourselves struggling to get the words out. This makes us even more exasperated.
There are some tips which can help.
How to Communicate Confidently Even When Nervous
Many of us worry about how nerves influence our communication. When we are nervous, angry or stressed our communication can suffer. This is especially true at work or in situations of conflict. There are some ways to combat the effect of difficult emotions on your communication.
Have confidence in your views and be clear when expressing them. If you’re nervous it can be tempting to ‘tone down’ your views or express them half formed. If you are clear on where you stand you will always appear more confident, even if your audience doesn’t fully agree with you.
Know the points you want to make and, if appropriate, have facts, research and examples to back up your points.
People respond well to authenticity. If you are authentic and respectful when you communicate people will see you as more confident.
If you head is spinning with negative thoughts you will struggle to communicate confidently. Work on changing your own mindset first. Confidence comes from within.
DESC Communication Technique
If you need help in being more assertive then the DESC technique can be really helpful
This useful technique enables you to handle difficult situations more effectively. As well as enabling you to become more adept in expressing yourself confidently.
DESC means Describe, Express, Specify and Consequences. The technique is most effective when combined with ‘I’ statements that avoid blaming others. Use of the DESC formula is especially practical in situations such as when a friend keeps cancelling your tennis games at the last minute for no good reason.
- Describe. Be specific and focus on the problem. State the fact without being emotional. ‘When you keep cancelling our tennis game at the last minute…’
- Express. Let the other person feel how important the issue is to you. Use ‘ ‘I’ messages so it is clear that you are not blaming him or her. ‘…. I feel let down and upset.’
- Specify. Be specific and firm in one or two sentences. State your wants or preferences, not commands. ‘I would like you to let me know well in advance if you are going to cancel the game.’
- Consequences. Clarify the position or negative consequences of your request. ‘If you don’t let me know in advance I think we should stop playing together.’ or, ‘If you do let me know in advance, it gives me time to find another partner.’
PREP Communication Framework
The PREP communication framework can be especially useful when having to speak off the cuff. I works like this.
Point – Make your point clearly and concisely.
Reason – Provide your reasons without over explaining.
Evidence – Provide supporting evidence.
Point – Reiterate your point so it’s the last thing in the person’s mind.
Listen and Check Understanding
Sometimes confident communication is about knowing when to say less or when to say nothing at all. Don’t always feel the need to fill silence. This is what many insecure or nervous people do. Don’t forget to listen and ask clarifying, open ended questions where appropriate.
Further Help With Confidence and Communication
I can help facilitate more effective communication in relationships or during separations, help you be more confident speaking at work or speaking in public, or just be more assertive in everyday situations.
I can offer hypnotherapy or life coaching sessions to help you foster a new outlook, develop new communication skills or change your perspective. So often, confidence comes from within and I can offer real lasting improvements. Why fake it when you can experience real change? In-person or online hypnotherapy sessions are available. Please do contact me if you would like to learn more.
Finally, people will listen and understand.
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