What's Your Biggest Weakness? It's the classic answer to that difficult interview question...'what's your biggest…
People Pleaser Personality Traits
What are people pleaser personality traits?
They’re qualities in someone who wants everyone around them to be happy even at the detriment of their own wellbeing.
Is this you? If so, are you putting other people’s happiness before your own? Perhaps pleasing has become an addiction for boosting your own self-worth. This will inevitably become a problem for you.
Do you always want to please people?
Firstly, ask yourself, is your happiness based on validation from others? Are you spending time with people needing a lot of help? Or who are overly controlling? In some cases are you feeling trapped in destructive or co-dependant relationships? In short, are you losing control over your own wellbeing? As well as experiencing stress, low self-esteem and anxiety.
People Pleaser Traits
Do you recognise any of the following behaviours?
- Finding it difficult to say no
- Hating the idea of anyone not liking you
- It’s hard for you to speak your mind
- Preferring to go along with other people
- Avoiding all types of conflict
- Encouraging everyone to get along
- Displaying signs of passive aggression
Why am I a People Pleaser?
This sometimes originates from a fear of rejection from early childhood relationships. As well as due to a fear of conflict or social anxiety.
How to Stop People Pleasing
Often it’s healthy to put yourself first. Here are some ways of changing the people pleasing behaviour patterns.
- Learning to say no – Being firm but polite as you find your voice.
- Asking for what you want – Speak up! Voice your opinions to get what you want sometimes. Your opinion matters.
- Doing things for yourself – Do something you want to do without worrying what others think. New clothes, new hair, new hobby – whatever makes you happy.
However, if you’re finding these tips difficult you might benefit from exploring the following:
Examining your fears – Why are you frightened of rejection, failure or conflict? Because this needs to be addressed so you can move on.
Testing your boundaries – What would you expect other people to tolerate? Why do you expect yourself to tolerate more? Why is that? Identify unacceptable treatment and deal with it in a healthy way.
Uncovering the source – Where is your people pleasing behaviour coming from? This is key to initiating change.
Therapy for People Pleasing
In conclusion, stopping people pleasing behaviour will help you feel more relaxed and respected as well as building healthier relationships.
Hypnotherapy is the ideal way to achieve this. Because it addresses the causes of behaviours rather than just the symptoms. It is a quick, safe and effective way to develop new behaviours.
For more information on hypnotherapy please do get in touch. I’ll be happy to help.
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