Jealousy affects us all at some point or another. When the green eyed monster rears its ugly head, it can often spell trouble for our health and our relationships. It’s human nature to feel a small amount of jealousy but when things become out of control it can have serious negative effects.
Jealously is a state of angry agitated worry that we often project on to other people. It’s a mixture of fear and anger that can quickly consume us. To protect our relationships and our own happiness we need to be able to control and overcome jealousy. These are some of the steps I recommend.
Question your feelings – all too often we accept our feelings and emotions as fact. Just because you feel jealous does not mean someone else has behaved wrongly or that another person is more successful than you. We need to keep evaluating ourselves. What am I feeling? Why I am feeling this? Could anything else be causing it?
Be mindful of your behaviour and its effects – think about what triggers these feelings. How do you react? Is it one specific thing that makes you jealous? How does your reaction affect the people around you?
Find an outlet – try finding an outlet for your feelings such as exercise, a diary, a friend or a hobby. Be aware though that without further action or exploration these feelings could just continue to grow.
Understand the triggers – try to understand what it is that upsets and angers you. Whether it’s your friends, your relationship or colleagues that trigger this jealousy, it’s useful to know exactly when you experience these feelings and the thought processes that accompany them.
Communicate – if your jealousy causes you to be upset or angry with other people it can be useful to discuss this with them. It’s important not to place blame and focus on your own feelings. Explain what you feel and apologise for your behaviour if necessary.
Change false beliefs – most jealousy is a result of false beliefs you hold about yourself or others. Do you suffer from imposter syndrome and lack self-worth? Do you have a negative body image? Or perhaps there are some issues in your relationship that need addressing?
Build control, confidence and trust – learn to accept yourself and others and work on building your own confidence. Be mindful of your thoughts and behaviour and try to control negativity. Work on improving yourself, your own happiness and trust.
Seek support – sometimes our thoughts can happen so quickly we aren’t consciously aware of them. For lasting results seek support to tackle the roots of these feelings with advanced hypnotherapy or relationship coaching.
I can help you deconstruct the reasons why you feel jealous and to understand these complex emotions more fully, from a place of self-compassion. They may be triggered by past experiences or you may feel vulnerable, insecure or threatened. If your feelings of jealously are triggered by your partner’s behaviour, relationship counselling can address these issues and build trust and reassurance. Whatever your situation, contact me and we’ll work together to overcome your jealousy.