How to get over self sabotaging behaviour
Are you your own worst enemy? Do you repeat the same patterns of behaviour over and over again which prevent you from achieving your goals? Do you set off well but let fear and doubt creep in to derail your progress? These self-sabotage cycles are common in many of us and prevent us from reaching our true potential.
What is Self-Sabotage?
Self-sabotage is any behaviour, thought or emotion that prevents you achieving your goals. It manifests itself in conflict between our conscious desires and our unconscious fears or beliefs. It is our mind’s way of protecting us against disappointment by not letting us stray from our comfort zone.
Sometimes self-sabotaging behaviour is obvious but hard for us to stop without help – think about comfort eating, self-harm and addiction. Other times it’s more subtle and may take the form of procrastination, limiting beliefs or risk aversion.
Why We Do It
As well as being a coping strategy, self-sabotage is also linked to low self-worth, esteem or confidence. It can also be caused by an inability to manage our emotions and fears.
There are a few things you can do to overcome self-sabotage:
- • Figure out what you really want and whether it’s attainable – are you thinking too big or too small? Set realistic but ambitious goals.
- • Ask what’s driving the behaviour. Look at the evidence and try and discover what triggers your voice of doubt.
- • Don’t measure your success by other people. Accept that life doesn’t always go smoothly but that each person’s approach is valid. Realise that perfection doesn’t exist.
- • Deal with setbacks calmly and logically and learn from your mistakes. Ask more useful questions of yourself. Treat change and failure as an experiment and learning experience.
- • Get support from others and look at yourself through their eyes.
- • Replace negative behaviour with positive. Practice positive thoughts.
Coaching and Hypnotherapy Treatment
Although the above tips are useful it’s likely that to fully eliminate self-sabotage you will need some help.
A life coaching relationship gives you a structured way to plan, take action and achieve your goals. Another person’s rational perspective protects you from being overly influenced by limiting beliefs, helps you learn from your mistakes and provides a rational outlook on your situation.
If your self-sabotage takes the form of destructive physical behaviour or stems from low self-esteem, anxiety or confidence my advanced hypnotherapy treatments can address these issues and provide freedom from these behaviours.
For more information on how I can help you with self-sabotage please get in touch.