How to be More Assertive

How to be more assertive? Many people are looking for better ways of standing up for themselves. As well as putting their point across more confidently.

Are you looking to communicate more confidently your point of view and hold your authority. In reality, many people feel unable to make themselves heard. Unfortunately, allowing stronger individuals to take advantage of them. As a result, causing the non assertive individual to feel negative emotions and lack of self belief.

What’s stopping me being more assertive?

Firstly this may be due to low self-esteem or simply shyness in that they are not willing to express their true feelings when needed. The inability to assert oneself impacts both on work and personal lives. Fortunately, overcoming fear of being assertive can be dealt with effectively with the help of hypnotherapy.

An advanced hypnotherapist helping to retrain the mind and enable a person to be a more assertive. Furthermore, standing up for their own feelings and rights.

Alix Needham has over 25 years of in-depth experience. Her knowledge enables her to provide a tailored approach to overcome shyness and becoming more assertive. Based in London, Alix has become one of the U.K.’s most respected female hypnotherapists.

Contact her today to learn more.

Alix Needham

My techniques guarantee that you remain in control at every session. These techniques, developed over 25 years, are so effective that many issues can be addressed in as little as three sessions and my location in the very heart of London means you can book sessions to work around work.

How to Find Your Christmas Party Confidence
Whilst many people are out having fun and celebrating, the festive party season can be some people’s idea of hell. Standing awkwardly in the corner, not knowing how to behave or who to talk to, as you pray for the whole thing to end. If this sounds familiar try these top tips to go from self-conscious to self-confident at your next party or event. Get there early If you feel uneasy walking into a busy room get there early to warm up and gradually let the room fill around you. Ease yourself in by talking to the other early arrivals and you’ll soon start to feel more settled. Breathe When we get anxious or nervous we tend to take short, shallow breathes which only makes things worse. Focus on taking deep breathes which will have a calming effect. Take a few before you walk into the room. Dress to Impress Wear something you feel good in. Something that might start a few conversations but that you’re comfortable in and that fits well. Educate yourself Find out who’s going to be there and what they do. Read up on a few interesting stories or news events so you have something to talk about. Own it Imagine that you’re hosting the event. This instantly makes you feel more at home and at ease. Even better, see if you can help organise the event or get friendly with the person who is. Introduce yourself Approach people and introduce yourself. Smile, be open and friendly. Try complimenting them and asking open ended questions to break the ice. Then listen carefully to what they say. Talk to as many people as possible. You’ll probably find that most people will be happy to talk once you make the leap. Mind your body language Maintain eye contact, smile, use open body language and don’t stare at the floor or fold your arms too much. Try not to fidget, stand tall and don’t talk too fast. Don’t drink too much Although one or two drinks may give your confidence a little boost, too much could end in disaster. Pace yourself and mix in a few soft drinks. Be kind Sometimes when we’re nervous or reaching for something to say we turn to gossip or nastiness. Avoid this at all costs. Confident people don’t need this. Try laughing at yourself instead. Seek help If you need more help, talk to a professional for some powerful and effective techniques. I would be happy to work with you to improve your confidence in social situations. Further Help for Party Confidence If you’re able, just relax, be happy and enjoy yourself. People react well to a smile and happy glow. I hope you all have a fun and happy festive period. If you would like help with any of the issues here please don’t hesitate to contact me. Further Reading How to Improve Your Charisma Social Anxiety Disorder: What It Is & How To Treat It Improve Conversation Skills Using Hypnotherapy Confidence building
The Secret Those Super Confident Colleagues Aren’t Telling You
Confidence Coaching: The Art of Building Self-Esteem, Self-Awareness & Self-Control Some people just ooze confidence. Nothing seems to faze them. Board meeting? No problem. Big presentation, no stress. After work drinks with the boss? Smoooooth. So what’s their secret? What aren’t they telling you? Are some people just born with this amazing super power? The truth is very few people are born with this level of confidence. It needs to be learned, developed and practised. And most people can’t do this alone. How to Build Confidence Are you looking for ways to improve your self-confidence? Using the following techniques will be helpful. Boosting your self-image by learning how to recognise times when you perform well. When you do, giving yourself a pat on the back – chances are nobody else will. Praising others. Instead of focusing on people fault’s remember to say ‘Well done’ when credit is due. Remember certain times when you made a lot of progress in your life. Taking time to acknowledge the resources you have that helped you succeed. Thinking about events that left you disappointed and try to find something positive about them. By identifying what you learnt from that experience. It may have been hellish but what new knowledge did you gain that you can take forward in the future? By acknowledging the good things you have achieved in your life, realising you can learn from the no-so-good events. This is another way of rewarding yourself. As well as avoiding the repetition of self-doubt. Tips like this are useful and can help you make steps forward. However, for real lasting change, from the inside out, it pays to get outside help. A confidence coach will help you truly change how you feel. You won’t have to fake it. What is Confidence Coaching? Confidence coaching is similar to life coaching but it focuses solely on the issues of confidence and self esteem. Of course, confidence can be linked to many aspects of someone’s life and you are free to explore anything that benefits you. It can empower you by challenging any doubts and perceptions holding you back and building you up from within. What Does a Confidence Coach Do? Confidence coaches help others improve their self-esteem by giving advice on how to overcome negative thoughts and feelings. They often use techniques that focus on positive thinking and goal setting. Why Do People Need Them? Many people struggle with low self-esteem and lack confidence. This can lead to social anxiety, shyness, and even depression. A confidence coach helps clients develop more positive attitudes towards themselves and their lives. What Are They Good For? People who work with confidence coaches often report feeling better about themselves after just one session. In addition, they feel less anxious and depressed, and are able to make healthier decisions. Who Should Be Using Them? If you’re struggling with low self-esteem, shyness or performance, then you should consider using a confidence coach. They help people build up their self-confidence by teaching them how to improve their social skills, deal with negative thoughts, and develop healthy habits. How Can I Find One Near Me? There are plenty of online resources where you can find a confidence coach near you. You can also ask friends or family members who might recommend one. Alix Needham is an experienced and friendly confidence coach who has helped many people similar to you. What Next? Contact me today to learn more about confidence building hypnotherapy and coaching or to book a free no-obligation consultation. Further Reading on Confidence Coaching Confidence building How to be more assertive Low self-esteem Life coaching
How to Stop Being Shy
“I had always been shy, especially in my teenage years, but I didn’t expect to still feel the same in my mid twenties. My shyness was affecting all parts of my life especially meeting new people, so I began to search for ways to change and become more confident. I asked Alix how to stop being shy….” What is Shyness? Shyness is a very common personality trait. It is a form of social anxiety that affects millions of people and can have a detrimental effect on their enjoyment of life. One of the major issues with shyness is the fact that it stops people from engaging in activities and causes them to avoid situations purely because of concerns about their shyness. They miss out on opportunities in life because of their fear and insecurity. What Does Shyness Feel Like? The typical feelings that shy people experience include being worried about what others think, feelings of isolation, wanting to be more outgoing but afraid to be, and other forms of limiting behaviour. A shy person may: Practise or replay conversations in their head Fixate on comparatively small moments of social interaction Avoid social contact even when it’s detrimental to them Feel nervous or anxious in social situations or at the thought of them The question that many ask themselves is quite simply “how to stop being shy?” My answer to that is hypnotherapy. Hypnotherapy to Stop Being Shy So why does hypnotherapy work so well when other treatment options fail? Basically it’s because, unlike many other therapies that aim to mask the symptoms, a skilled hypnotherapist works with the client to find out why they are suffering from shyness and then changes the person’s attitudes and behaviour using a variety of tried and tested techniques. For many people shyness and social anxiety can be treated quickly and in as little as three sessions. Imagine how good it would feel if you no longer felt shy in social situations. Being able to speak your mind, enjoy activities that you were previously afraid to do. All of these can be a reality if you rid yourself of your fears and anxiety through effective hypnotherapy. What are you waiting for? Contact me today for a free, no-pressure consultation. Further Reading on Shyness Too Shy to Date? 5 Effective Ways for Dealing With Shyness Do you Suffer with Shyness & Social Anxiety? Case Study & Shyness Social Phobia After Covid Lockdown Confidence building
Confident Communication
Many people are looking for ways of developing confident communication. Whether it’s because of nerves, insecurity or other strong emotions, communication can often be strained. We are desperate to communicate our point of view, but the emotions run over and we find ourselves struggling to get the words out. This makes us even more exasperated. There are some tips which can help. How to Communicate Confidently Even When Nervous Many of us worry about how nerves influence our communication. When we are nervous, angry or stressed our communication can suffer. This is especially true at work or in situations of conflict. There are some ways to combat the effect of difficult emotions on your communication. Be Clear Have confidence in your views and be clear when expressing them. If you’re nervous it can be tempting to ‘tone down’ your views or express them half formed. If you are clear on where you stand you will always appear more confident, even if your audience doesn’t fully agree with you. Prepare Well Know the points you want to make and, if appropriate, have facts, research and examples to back up your points. Be Authentic People respond well to authenticity. If you are authentic and respectful when you communicate people will see you as more confident. Think Positively If you head is spinning with negative thoughts you will struggle to communicate confidently. Work on changing your own mindset first. Confidence comes from within. DESC Communication Technique If you need help in being more assertive then the DESC technique can be really helpful This useful technique enables you to handle difficult situations more effectively. As well as enabling you to become more adept in expressing yourself confidently. DESC means Describe, Express, Specify and Consequences. The technique is most effective when combined with ‘I’ statements that avoid blaming others. Use of the DESC formula is especially practical in situations such as when a friend keeps cancelling your tennis games at the last minute for no good reason. Describe. Be specific and focus on the problem. State the fact without being emotional. ‘When you keep cancelling our tennis game at the last minute…’ Express. Let the other person feel how important the issue is to you. Use ‘ ‘I’ messages so it is clear that you are not blaming him or her. ‘…. I feel let down and upset.’ Specify. Be specific and firm in one or two sentences. State your wants or preferences, not commands. ‘I would like you to let me know well in advance if you are going to cancel the game.’ Consequences. Clarify the position or negative consequences of your request. ‘If you don’t let me know in advance I think we should stop playing together.’ or, ‘If you do let me know in advance, it gives me time to find another partner.’ PREP Communication Framework The PREP communication framework can be especially useful when having to speak off the cuff. I works like this. Point – Make your point clearly and concisely. Reason – Provide your reasons without over explaining. Evidence – Provide supporting evidence. Point – Reiterate your point so it’s the last thing in the person’s mind. Listen and Check Understanding Sometimes confident communication is about knowing when to say less or when to say nothing at all. Don’t always feel the need to fill silence. This is what many insecure or nervous people do. Don’t forget to listen and ask clarifying, open ended questions where appropriate. Further Help With Confidence and Communication I can help facilitate more effective communication in relationships or during separations, help you be more confident speaking at work or speaking in public, or just be more assertive in everyday situations. I can offer hypnotherapy or life coaching sessions to help you foster a new outlook, develop new communication skills or change your perspective. So often, confidence comes from within and I can offer real lasting improvements. Why fake it when you can experience real change? In-person or online hypnotherapy sessions are available. Please do contact me if you would like to learn more. Finally, people will listen and understand. Would You Like A Complimentary Consultation? Now could be the perfect time to see if online hypnotherapy can provide you with a much needed boost.If you’re not sure, why not try an initial complimentary 15 minute session? More Reading on Communication How to handle criticism 10 ways to improve your confidence End workplace bullying now Improve Conversation Skills Using Hypnotherapy How to get negative people out of your life Fear of authority figures Imposter Syndrome – Do you feel a fraud
Am I an Introvert or Is It Social Anxiety?
Many of us our familiar with the term ‘introvert’ and some of the associated characteristics. But does a preference for introversion ever become a problem? What’s the difference between an introvert and shyness or social anxiety? What is an Introvert? Introverts have a personality trait that means they prefer to focus on internal thoughts and feelings rather than external stimulation. The introversion and extroversion spectrum is a sliding scale with most people not at either extreme. In fact, the term ‘ambivert’ has been coined to describe people who associate with both. Introvert Characteristics Introverts tend to be quieter and more reserved than extroverts. Extroverts may feel like they gain energy and ideas from social interaction whereas many introverts actually expend energy in social interaction. It’s not necessarily that they don’t enjoy it, but they may need some time alone to recharge afterwards. Introverts tend to be more inward facing and require less external stimulation. Introvert Traits If you have the following traits you may be an introvert…. You…… can be seen as aloof or mysteriousare sometimes quietcan be happy aloneare self-awarehave a rich fantasy lifethink things through carefullyhave a small group of close friendscan be left feeling drained by social interactionenjoy spending time with close friends over meeting lots of new peopletend to shy away from small talk and chit chat How does being an introvert translate to everyday life? Introverts at Work As an introvert your learning style might be different. You may prefer to learn by watching and like to wait until you feel capable before giving things a go. Conversely, extroverts may be more willing to jump right in and learn by trial and error. Introverts prefer to practise privately until they feel secure in their skills. Clearly there are some jobs where this is a benefit and others where it might be more difficult. Think of a trainee doctor having to learn on the job, surrounded by observing people and often in high pressure situations. Introverts may sometimes not contribute as much in meetings because they like to fully consider a problem from every angle before commenting. They want to have a full understanding before offering input. Many workplaces will appreciate this considered approach. Being careful about what you say is vital in many situations at work. However, in others it can be more detrimental – think about a creative, lively office where brainstorming and thinking out loud is the norm. Introverts can find small talk tedious and difficult but it can be an important skill when socialising with new people, especially at work. Introvert Jobs Many introverts will choose careers that involve independence and solitude. They may struggle in jobs that involve a great deal of social interaction or relationship building. Some extroverts may have struggled during the recent Covid pandemic being forced to work from home, alone away from the hustle and bustle of office life. Introverts on the other hand may have thrived. Someone with social anxiety may struggle at work. Working from home could be perfect for them but even a zoom call or phone chat can feel like a challenge. Some people’s social anxiety at work manifests as a fear of authority. Social anxiety at work can significantly affect success. Introverts and Dating Many introverts desire deep and authentic connection so can struggle in the early parts of relationships where things are more surface level. They may struggle with small talk or feeling the pressure to perform. However, in the right environment introverts enjoy dating and meeting new people. Especially when they bond over shared interests and values. Many introverts prefer to meet in a quiet place where they can concentrate on getting to know the person rather than a club or busy bar where there’s a lot of other distractions. Someone who has social anxiety may panic at the thought of dating. The idea of being in a social situation with a stranger may feel so scary that they simply end up not doing it at all. Again, it’s not necessarily that they don’t want to form a relationship but the challenges involved are just too high. Introvert or Social Anxiety Being an introvert is not the same thing as being shy or having social anxiety. Although, the two may coexist. Introversion is more about preference. How do you prefer to spend the majority of your time and who with? What energises you and how do you experience the world and express yourself? Introverts do have a desire to socialise, although they may choose the times, places and people differently to an extrovert. People who are shy often have feelings of tension or anxiety when in social situations or even just at the thought of them. Shyness influences the way someone acts when in a social situation and may mean they don’t feel comfortable or able to fully be themselves. What Next? If you feel like your introversion tendencies are the result of shyness or social anxiety that is negatively affecting your daily life perhaps it’s time to change them. I have helped many clients with shyness therapy. Hypnotherapy is a really powerful and effective way of doing this and allows people to make positive change in a short space of time. Please do contact me to learn more about how I can help you or for a free no-obligation consultation. Why wait to change your life for the better? Book Now Related Articles Social Anxiety Disorder – What It Is & How To Treat It Social Phobia After Covid Lockdown How to Overcome Social Anxiety in London Social anxiety symptoms Hypnosis for Social Anxiety 5 Effective Ways for Dealing With Shyness How to Stop Being Shy Client Testimonials Social anxiety disorder low self trust – client story Improved my social life – client story Improved confidence – client story Shyness Therapy – Case Study
Improve Your Self Image for a New Found Confidence
Many of my clients are looking for confidence building activities and tips that really work. They are sick of pretending or simply masking the problem. The following confidence tips can help you improve your self image and get you started on the journey. What is Self Image? Self image refers to the picture we have of our own selves – both our external and internal self. It refers to our own idea of how we fit into the world and how we interact with others. Self image is usually built up over time as a consequence of our lives and interactions. A positive self image can give us confidence in our own thoughts and abilities, whereas a negative self image can make us feel unsure of our own abilities, thoughts or feelings. What Can Cause a Negative Self Image? Low self image is often associated with other conditions – for example it can be a symptom or cause of depression. Often our self image is greatly influenced by our childhood interactions. If you are told negative things about yourself during this influential time they can have a huge effect on your future life. Sometimes we do not even realise how strong their influence has been on us until we explore our subconscious. Other times, romantic, platonic or professional relationships can play a part in forming our self image. During our lives we are continually taking in information, evaluating ourselves and changing course. We form our self image as a result of this external information filtered through our own system of judgements and believes. If this filter is skewed, it may need resetting so that we can form a more accurate self image aligned more closely with reality. Self Image Vs Self Esteem What is the difference between self image and self esteem? Whilst self image focuses on how we see ourselves, self esteem is predominantly about how we feel about ourselves. Of course, they have a big impact on each other. Self esteem focuses on how much respect we have for ourselves. Do we feel good or bad about being us? Distorted Self Image Having a distorted self image means that you have a view of yourself that it is not based in reality. The way you view yourself can be drastically different from how other people view you. This can involve both physical and internal factors. Many of my clients hold a distorted self image that is much more negative than reality. This can affect the way they behave, their thoughts and their self confidence. Distorted self image is often linked to BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) and eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia. Improve Your Self Image You can build your self confidence by improving your self- image. Giving yourself a confidence boost can help to speed you on your way to reaching your goals. Here are some ideas to get started with. Practise your skills, Be aware of the weakness in your skills. E.g do you work on a computer but cannot use the latest software that would make your job easier? If so, you could be making yourself feel inadequate or incompetent. Once you have recognised your weak points, set about trying to improve them. This will boost your overall confidence. Spend some time writing down your weak spots and make a clear plan of action to improve them. Do not expect everything to improve at once – allow a realistic timescale for your skill to improve and measure your progress. If time is of the essence, then work first on those skills that will help you achieve your goals and let go of the less important items. Take a good look at yourself. Are you happy with what you see? Are you presenting an image, both to yourself and to others, that says, “I am confident and happy about who and what I am?” If not, check out your wardrobe and throw out the clothes that do not fit with that confident image. What about your hairstyle? Are your skin and nails in good condition? Looking good can help you to feel good and so avoid self-doubt. Think about your posture. Do you slouch or walk tall? If you have a tendency to walk along looking at your feet, try walking with your head up with your eye aiming at the rooftops. This may seem silly, but psychologists have found that it is much harder for you to experience negative feeling when you look upwards. What Next? Many people take the above steps and do start to feel better. But, sometimes there is something else holding them back. Sometimes, no matter how many positive changes they make, they see themselves in a negative light. This is where hypnotherapy can help. Hypnotherapy for Self Image Hypnotherapy can build you up from within. Address the root causes of your poor self image image and gives you a new, positive view. You won’t have to pretend, fake it or just get by anymore as you will truly feel like a new you. Would You Like A Complimentary Consultation? Now could be the perfect time to see if online hypnotherapy can provide you with a much needed boost. If you’re not sure, why not try an initial complimentary 15 minute session? [/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row] More reading on self image 10 ways to build confidence How to be more assertive Sustaining self confidence How to think like a winner Stop thinking like a victim
How to Build Self Confidence
When times are uncertain it helps to have a strong sense of self to ground us. Whilst we can’t always control the world around us, we can control how we think and feel about ourselves. Building self confidence increases resilience and equips us to deal with more of life’s challenges. Why Is Self Confidence Important? Self confidence grounds us. It gives us a strong sense of self and makes us feel safe and able to deal with life’s challenges. How Do Confident People Behave? Someone with high self confidence doesn’t feel the need to constantly seek approval or extol their own virtues. However, they know how to accept a compliment graciously and take credit for their achievements. Confident people are comfortable taking risks because they have an underlying belief in their abilities. They admit and learn from their mistakes. So, how can you build confidence? Build a Positive Memory Bank Take some time to focus on your strengths and capabilities. Try thinking about all of the times you have performed well and that have made you proud. Spending time in these memories can change a negative mindset and boost confidence. Relax in a favourite chair and mentally wander back through time. Allow all of your good memories to pop into your mind e.g. when people congratulated you, when you had a good work appraisal., when you passed an important exam. Spend time enjoying the memories and then write them down. Read your list regularly to boost your confidence. Remember another way to boost your own self confidence is by making a commitment to stop putting yourself down. Value yourself. Everyone has achieved certain successes in life and it is time to recognise and acknowledge yours. Know Yourself Confident people tend to have a strong sense of self – their values and their strengths. Having an internal value system that drives your behaviour and decisions can give you a strong sense of self confidence. If you’re unsure about your own values, perhaps take some time to think about what’s important to you. Hypnotherapy for Confidence Hypnotherapy is extremely effective at building confidence because of its ability to address underlying issues and the root cause of any confidence issues. It can help release any blocks that are holding you back and change your mindset. Often is as few as three sessions clients experience a huge shift in mindset which allows for new behaviour patterns to emerge. Book Now If you would like to build your self confidence, I can help. I offer a free, no-obligation initial consultation so please do get in touch to learn more. Further Reading on Confidence Building Confidence to Become the Best Version of Yourself Case Study; Confidence Confidence Building Hypnotherapy 10 Ways to Improve Confidence
What Helps with Identity Insecurity
What is Identity Insecurity? Firstly, identity issues and insecurity about our own sense of self are common. Unfortunately, modern society doesn’t place the same kind of roles and restrictions on people as in the past. This is good in many ways. Nevertheless, it leaves many people feeling anxious, depressed or confused. As well as a lost sense of self or low self-esteem. Social Media In some ways social media tends to make matters worse. Are you feeling judged? As well as judging yourself against other people’s online? Are a few online ‘likes’ really enough to promote a healthy sense of self ? Moreover, can this maintain your happiness throughout our life? What Causes Identity Issues? There are many causes of insecurities. Perhaps, issues from adolescence which is usually a time for exploring our own identity. Or we maybe feel like we just don’t fit in. Moreover, major life changes cause a loss of a previously well-established identity. For example, a parent whose children have all left home. Or a professional who has just retired or a recent divorcee. Hypnotherapy For Self-Identity Issues Unfortunately, fixing these issues alone may be difficult. Because our adult mind isn’t always as equipped to perceive our identity as fluid and changeable. This is why hypnotherapy is helpful. Furthermore, addressing unconscious fears is very effective. In short, with help we can learn what we really want from our identity and why we are feeling insecure. Values Many of us may be feeling disconnected from ourselves. Because we aren’t living in line with our values. Are you able to describe your own values? What principles do you live by? And how were these formed? Generally, when we have a good idea of our own values, and we live by them, we are much happier. Perception Take a while to think about how you perceive yourself and how you think others perceive you. What is important to you and are you happy with your current situation? How do you think you can influence the perception of others? Society Ask yourself do you feel part of a community or society? What groups do you feel like associating with? Are there any groups you wish to become more or less involved with? Why is this? Think about the people you’re surrounding yourself with. Thinking about this will give you indications about what’s important to you as you cement your own identity. Changing Definitions Has your identity recently changed? If so, how do you feel about this? Are there other aspects to your identity that you might not have considered? It’s completely normal after a loss or change to revaluate your own ideas about yourself and your life. Moreover, how do we manage changes without sacrificing our identity? Visualisation Another helpful technique is visualising your ideal self. This can be helpful in pinning down the key aspects of your desired identity. What are your hopes for the future? What do you see as the best possible version of yourself? Passion Another effective way of developing a new identity is to focus on finding what you’re passionate about. As well as examining your interests and how you like to spend your time. What gets you excited and out of bed in the morning? Hypnotherapy for Insecurity In conclusion would you like help with insecurity or identity? I help people with identity issues using my advanced hypnotherapy techniques. By opening yourself up to change and new ideas you can rebuild your sense of self. We usually discover that it was there all along. For more help please do get in touch. Further Reading How to Improve Low Self Esteem? Is your life lacking purpose? Confidence building Online Hypnotherapy How Online Hypnotherapy Can Help During Lockdown

What’s stopping me being more assertive?

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